Day 25 - Where Does the Time Go

Meet my grandfather, Lloyd. Isn't he adorable? This is a picture taken this past May when our entire Wisconsin clan went to Colorado for my cousin's high school graduation. We went to a wonderful family restaurant, White Fence Farm, for a family birthday celebration when grandpa decided he needed to take a little rest.

Grandpa was admitted to the hospital late last night. He has blood-clots in both of his lungs and a "mass" on his adrenal gland. They have him on medication for it and when he can tolerate it they are doing other tests that they deem necessary to find out what is ailing him. But, he is not himself today...and it's hard to see.

Since Grandma passed in 2004 Grandpa has been living alone in his wonderful little home in the North woods of Wisconsin. After this past Christmas it was decided that he would spend the winter with my mom and my aunt. A decision I was relieved they made. Since I didn't get to see him as much as we would have liked it was a shock to me to see how old he had gotten.

I don't mean him any disrespect...none at all! It's just a shock to see this strong, wonderful man that I looked up to in the absence of my own father so frail and weak. He doesn't know where he is at right now and had a difficult time putting names to the faces. You could see that he knew us but couldn't tell us our names. The 10 year old has the same name as his mother and he couldn't name either of them. The 10 year old was very upset by this because she didn't understand that it's just apart of getting old. To be honest...I had a hard time understanding it, too.

It's going to be a difficult road ahead. Not just for him but for all of us as we try our very best to give him the absolute best care we can. The hardest part is going to be seeing him deteriorate...it's a fact of life that, I know that. It just doesn't make it easier to live with! I wonder if it isn't better that Grandma isn't here to see it...she would be devastated. After today I don't know that my elderly self will be able to see an elderly Randy like this. Thank goodness...that's a long way off. But at the time I'm sure I'll wonder where the time went...

Day 27 - A Little Red Hot

As you already know the 10 year old is an all-star cheerleader. She has practice twice a week for 3 hours each time. We have two competitions a month and they are usually all-day events. So, we spend a lot of time with the cheerleading.

The 8 year old is a dancer. Surprisingly, she wants nothing to do with cheerleading...other then cheering on her sister. She takes ballet lessons. Once a week for one hour and then she has a two performance recital in June. We spend very little time on dance. So, when we were presented with the opportunity to participate in Carthage College's Junior Red Hot Dance Team we took it. The drive is about an hour but the 8 year old loves it and so I love it, too.

We had a performance tonight. They are so cute as they try to keep up with the college girls. I think that chasing Torchy, the school's mascot, was the most fun all night for the girls.

Thank goodness for digital cameras. Randy and my Aunt (who usually attends all the girls performance she can) had to work tonight and my mom was at the hospital with my grandfather (refer to Day 25) so I recorded the performance for them to see. My cousin is a freshman at Carthage so she came by after her Lacrosse practice and got there just in time to see the routine. Even though they weren't there to see her they will still be able to tell her what a great job she did...and mean it because they will have seen it.

Day 23 - Life Catches Up with Me

It's good to know that there are people out there who read this. It's also good to know that if I were to ever go missing there are people who would notice! Sorry, life got crazy and I could do little more than go to bed once the girls got to bed. Thank you, my dear friends! So, to those of you who noticed...I'm back!

You've already met my dear fiance, Randy. He's not feeling well today and I am worried that he's going to end up with the flu or a sinus infection at least. He works a rotating schedule and it seems that when he gets sick it's always on his off days. Poor baby. Randy doesn't like to be fussed over or for me to rave about him to others. But, this is my blog and so I am going to rave and tell you just how lucky I am to have this man in our lives.

Randy went to second shift last week Sunday. He and my girls have not seen each other all week. He's a smart man...he stays in bed until they are out the door...lolol. Wednesday night Samantha was near tears as she talked about how much she missed him. (((sigh))) Yesterday he had to work first shift for a co-worker and so he was home before the girls. He told me that he really missed them and he was surprised by how much he missed them!!! OMG! The flood gates opened...tears of pure joy and happiness.

For those of you who don't already know, my girls' father passed away in 2005. They miss him terribly. They were only 4 and 6 at the time and I wish they had more memories of him...especially the youngest. So, he's the only dad they have and while I knew they they liked each other I realized for the first time how much they really LOVE each other! Many of you have blended families...that's different. Your children, in most cases, still see their biological daddy's. Mine only have pictures to look at and stories to hear. That's why the tears...because though Randy may technically be their step-dad but when it comes right down to it he IS their dad! And, definitely worth fussing over!

Wishing you all the kind of joy and love that brings you to tears.

Day 18 - Call me...

Oh, wait, you can't! Why? My cell phone antenna broke and if I can get a signal I might not be able to keep it.
What did we ever do before these contraptions? If I leave the house without...I panic! What if the school calls? Well, what did my elementary school do if they called my mother and she was at the grocery store? What if the hubby forgot to remind me to get a loaf of bread and can't call me? What did our mother's do when I father's forgot to tell them?

Whatever it was they did...they survived. And, many of them continue to live a non-cell lifestyle. My mother only recently got her cell phone and I'm not sure she's finding it a useful tool. There are times when I wish I didn't have mine. If I am unable to talk at the moment, I won't answer my phone. When I return home, there will be a message on the home phone..."I tried calling you on your cell but you didn't answer so I thought maybe you were at home. Where are you? Why aren't you answering your phone?" Well, I'm unavailable. There are times when I'll have a message on my cell, my home phone and an email. I only wish I were that important or the information needing to be exchanged was such a high priority. It's usually something like, "did you get my email?"

While tomorrow will be a difficult day without my "lifeline" I know that I'll manage just fine. I might actually enjoy being disconnected. My concern is my friends and family not being able to stalk me and having to wait to find out if I got the message they left on the home phone telling me they couldn't get a hold of me on my cell so they left me an email.

Day 17 - They grow up too fast

For those of you who have children you know exactly what I'm talking about.

This is the 8 year old...cute isn't she. Well, she has graduated to taking a shower. Actually, she's been taking showers on and off since this past summer. She had to learn to take one because she went to summer camp. One very long week for this mom! Ever since, she has only wanted to take a bath unless I insisted...with great persuasion...for her to take a shower for time's sake.

Today, we had to run some errands and when she dressed and ready to go she had a little purse over her shoulder and asked, "do I look like a little teen aged girl." We wanted to appease her so we said yes. This was very pleasing to her. When she would ask the other girls we had to nudge them into agreement. While out on our excursions she pulled out an old cell phone we had given to her to play with. She had a brilliant conversation with two girlfriends from school.

Ahhh...the imagination at work. Then, it dawns on me. These days are truly not far away at all! My baby will be a teenager in just 4 and a half short years. My oldest...2 and half! Already they want to wear make-up and are talking about boys (but not to the parents) and mentioning that their other friends have...well...um...you know...gotten "it." This I am NOT ready for! I pray that "it" will wait...for a very long time...to arrive. Though, my head tells me otherwise.

So, for now, I will just hold and cuddle my babies for as long as they will let me and I hope that even when they are wise, mature teenagers, they will once in a while allow me the little luxury of holding onto my "baby".

Day 16 - A Day Late

...and a dollar short? Gosh, I hope not. I'm sorry that I missed yesterday's post. That just meant two for today.

Yesterday was a whopper of a day. I received big news that means a lot of change for me and possibly my family for this coming year. I'm not sure yet if it's good news or bad news or if the change will be good or bad. I have to wait and see. But, I'm not good at waiting. I'm ruled by my emotions and right now they are not in a good place. As I'm writing this I'm asking myself, "so if you don't know what you're going to do..why are you using this as today's post." Well, this Project 365 is about documenting our lives for one whole year. The decision I make will be a huge change and it will be something important to look back on; especially since it happened so early in this year. And, that change started today.

See, I represent this wonderful Direct Sales company called Two Sister's Gourmet. They offer some wonderful food products that are not only delicious but more healthful for you. We come into your home and either allow you to taste lots of good food or we offer an opportunity for you and your friends and family to gather in the kitchen and make a quick, delicious and healthy meal. It's been a wonderful opportunity for me both on the money making front as well as meeting wonderful new friends ( you know who you are!) and I've started cooking a lot healthier for my family. We received news yesterday that our beloved company as we knew it on Thursday would be changing in just a few short weeks due to a merger with another very popular company. I'm sure this merger is for the best on some financial front. But, people don't like change...especially change that they don't understand or necessarily agree with. Right now, I'm dealing with both of these.

So, while I really can't share much more information with you right now...as I don't have a whole lot to share...I look forward to the challenges this decision means for me, my family and my wonderful TSG sisters. At the same time, I worry about making the wrong decision and I worry about angering or disappointing people. The latter being the most difficult one to deal with.

Of course, I will keep you posted on my decision. In the meantime, we are still in business! We still have all our delicious and good-for-you products and I can't help but share these products that my family truly loves with you. If you look down the left side of my blog you will see a link to my web page. Please, check it out...if only to search for some fantastic recipes!

To be continued...

Day 15 - Arctic Air Where It Doesn't Belong.

We're used to the cold here in Wisconsin...but the temperatures that we had today are beyond normal. Right now, it is -22 degrees with the wind chill...brr! Unfortunately, we did have to go out into the deep freeze today.

I'm an overachieving mom, I admit it. The good side of that is I try to be a chaperone on all the field trips, I participate on the PTO's and I just try to do as much as I can for those activities that my girls are involved with. I just want to make sure that my girls and their friends have the best possible time they can. And, not all parents are able to volunteer and without volunteers these events can't happen.

The other side of that is I often become overwhelmed and start to suffer from "blonde" moments. I admit...I am a blonde in a brunette's body. The girls and I went to the grocery store yesterday so that we wouldn't have to run out today. (We had to anyway...the Cheerleader had practice today.) Today I couldn't find the bananas that I knew I had purchased yesterday. Hmmm...maybe the girls put them in the pantry. No. Maybe the 8 year old put them in the refrigerator with the apples. Nope. OK, I accidentally put them in the deep freezer. No! Where are the bananas? I left one of the grocery bags in my car. Did I mention that there was no school today due to the cold? Did I mention that at 9:30am it was -27 degrees with the wind chill? My bananas...which were a beautiful yellow are now brown. My avocados which needed another day or two to be perfectly ripened...rock hard. I picked through all the Roma tomatoes at the store to find the perfect ones...you know, not too hard, not too mushy. They sounded like a bag of marbles when I lifted their bag! Here they are...covered in frost!

We can't have tacos without tomatoes and the girls wouldn't be too happy if they didn't have guacamole to go with them. So, I will have to run out again tomorrow. Did I mention that we don't have school again tomorrow because it's going to be too cold?

I promise to not complain about how hot it is in July! (OK...that's a promise I might not be able to keep...we'll all find out in 6 months.)